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This is called “Narcissistic Supply” and I like to think of them in a cage at the zoo with a sign that says, “Do not feed the narcissist”. There are a multitude of online support groups, hundreds of online articles and some great books on the topic. Leaving a narcissist is one of the hardest things you will ever do but it is imperative to your future.
If you are planning to leave a narcissist, I encourage you to educate yourself thoroughly on the topic of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
If it’s one of the first few dates, the questions asked and comments shared should be fairly generic.
At this point, each of you is trying to get enough information quickly to determine whether there is sufficient interest, attraction and similarity to support having a full-fledged relationship.
That means in a regular social setting of 100 people on a Friday night, there are at least five that you will need to avoid like the plague.
Narcissists come in all shapes, sizes, and genders. Common sense tells us to avoid the slimy guy at the end of the bar. They are charming, charismatic, and often the life of the party. Hindsight is 20-20, and I often do something called a “red flag reflection.” I like to do a self-inventory, which involves looking in the rearview mirror to see the warning signs that I personally chose to ignore.
Do not call him and do not answer his calls, emails, texts, or faxes. Yes, there are no limits to the great lengths a scorned narcissist will go to for his next fix. Narcissists need emotions from you because they are not capable of their own emotions -- they need your emotions to feed their ego.
I heard the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder from my therapist in 2008 when she implied that my husband was a narcissist.
Once I began researching the disorder, the past 10 years of my life made complete sense.
By the time I understood this personality disorder, we had two daughters and were almost 2 million dollars in debt -- and I had lost every ounce of respect that I once had for this man.
Narcissists do not have the ability to love, show compassion or empathy.
The custody battle was not about our daughters -- it was about winning and, ultimately, his driving force was to hurt me and maintain control.